Sadism doesn't mix with laziness, neither does SM
by XxabridgedgirlyxX
Summary: Collection of GinOki one-shots, sometimes hinted shounen-ai and other times just sadistic friendship with a hint of strawberry milk. Chapter 3: When saying something suggestive that really isn’t meant to be suggestive, you should explain a bit.
1. Chapter 1

**Especially for Clow Angel, who has written a bunch of wonderful GinOki one-shots, I finally got around to writing it! So especially for her and all other GinOki fans, I proudly present you my rambling.**

**Pairing: Gintoki x Okita**

**Rating: T for sadism**

**Warnings: Okita's sneakiness**

**Enjoy!**

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**You have the right to get wary when someone knows the location of you bedroom**

"Happy birthday!" The words flew out of their mouth's with such fluency that he just knew they had rehearsed this. Their smiling faces beamed at him, trying to infect him as well with their overly-happiness and smiley-faces. The pure happiness and faked innocence radiated from the two teenagers. The man looked up from his latest Jump issue and turned at them with the bored face he usually wore, his eyes as dull as ever before.

"It's not my birthday."

The smiling faces still beamed at him.

"But it might as well be!"

Silence followed while he stared at them for a full two seconds.

"You're just trying to get me happy so I'd take you to the festival out of pure gratitude." He turned back to his Jump, stuck a pinky up his nose and continued to read the magazine. He could just feel the happy-faces behind him disappearing and waited for Plan-B to be brought in action. The redhead and the four-eyes disappeared behind his couch and he could hear them whispering, plotting their next move in this gruesome battle of dominance. He was the one with money, or at least a bit of it, they were the ones wanting to go to the festival in town, with even less money than the first. That being said, general Sakata firmly held his own, whilst generals Shimura and Yato where discussing their plan of action.

They both looked at him, sad-faces on.

"No."

"Okay," Kagura grabbed his collar and held back her fist, "I beat him out cold and you steal his wallet, Shinapchi!" She shook her boss a bit, hard, and Shinpachi tried to restrain her, telling her that they didn't need such dramatic measures. When Yato had finally let go, general Sakata tried to catch his breath and proposed a truce.

"All you had to do was ask instead of using dirty tricks." He straightened his shirt a bit to look at least a bit decent and recovered his Jump from where it had landed on the ground. _'Page 55.'_ He took note of the page he was reading at and closed the magazine with a sound.

He scratched his silver perm out of habit and muttered a 'fine'. They both almost glomped him and, after picking his wallet out of his yukata while they were hugging him, they raced out the door.

'_Damn kids.'_ He couldn't help but smile, slightly disturbed how exactly they had learned to pick-pocket.

* * *

"Don't spend too much!" He screamed at them but alas, they were already out of earshot. He sighed and followed without a word, looking around the festival. It was already dark but whole of Edo was gathered here. A festival in honour of the Shogun, no less. He hoped there would be 90% less explosions and Shinsengumi.

"Ah, Danna, what brings you here?"

Okay, 80% less Shinsengumi.

The sadist was sitting on a bench, dressed in uniform. Without a doubt the whole Shinsengumi was crawling around to look out for terrorists and the like.

"Aren't you supposed to be protected the leader off this fallen-apart country?"

Okita looked at him with a strange look but nodded anyway.

"Then what are you doing here? You're not giving off that usual skipping-out-of-work vibe you usually do." A slight wind blew his hair around and he had trouble seeing through the silver curls falling over his eyes.

"Guess not."

He wasn't even denying it, making it seem even stranger. The young man looked strange, almost in conflict with himself. The usual bored-looking face had been replaced by something Gintoki couldn't quite describe. The younger man didn't look at him when he sat down on his right.

"You?"

He rolled his eyes. "Kids."

"China and Four-eyes."

"Who else?"

"The little baby with the silver perm?" Normal Okita was back and wasn't missing a beat. He sighed and let his head hang. The young man had come to become one of his dear friends, even if neither of them would admit it. It was as if they just knew, without anyone having to tell them. They didn't need anyone to tell them, because they already knew. Okita had grown to admire the man from the minute he had beaten Hijikata and to the last second where he had helped them with the betrayal of Itou. Sakata Gintoki was a strange man indeed, he never explained any of his actions and his skills surpassed all those in the Shinsengumi.

"Ah, I didn't even want to come here." Okita stopped his train of thought at the remark before it could go on further. Gintoki folded his arms behind his head and looked at the dark night sky. "Well, I could always stay for the fireworks, I guess…"

Okita watched the man and a strange smile appeared on his face, a smile which indicated amusement.

"What?" Gintoki had noticed the unusual look on the younger man's face and raised one of his eyebrows, lazily lying his head at the left to look at the Shinsengumi captain.

"You should stay, Danna, you might get to see something interesting." He stood up, his brown hair swaying around at the movement, and walked away.

"What are you…" The man was already gone and Gintoki scowled.

'_Why doesn't anyone listen to what I have to say?'_

"Gin-chan! Look!" Kagura looked up at the fireworks and pointed every now and then, yelling at him to look. It rained colours and the whole sky was filled with flowers. Both kids had seen fireworks before, but still, as every little one spat apart, they couldn't help but gasp and point at it. They moved around in the crowd to get a better view. Gintoki watched them but didn't follow. They were going to sleep over at Tae's tonight, giving him the chance to have a relaxing night once. Shinpachi probably wouldn't sleep with all the girls' talking but he knew the boy didn't mind spending time with those two.

The crowd gasped again as a flower exploded in the black night sky, before falling down to earth again in small drops. The fireworks continued and Gintoki felt a slight tap on his shoulder. He turned around, expecting either Kagura, Shinpachi or Tae, but got the previous encountered Shinsengumi captain.

It was hard to see his face but one of the fireworks made it possible to see the same look of amusement on his face.

"What?"

The crowd gasped again when another one of the fireworks was shot in the sky.

"Happy birthday." Without waiting for a reply, Okita pulled 'Danna' down and kissed him fully on the lips. Gintoki couldn't quite comprehend what was going on and the world seemed to stop for a few seconds. The fireworks were still going on, and he was casually kissing someone along the way. Okita left his lips and took a breath, slightly smiling that evil smile of his. Gintoki had overcome his initial shock and a small smile spread on his face as well.

The grand finale was coming up and the whole festival was temporarily led, making it able for both to see the other's face. They didn't need to tell each other, they already knew. No one had to tell them, because even without words, they already knew.

Okita left and Gintoki turned back to the fireworks, just in time to see the last one explode.

'_That sure was interesting.'_ He touched his lips, the same feeling from a few seconds overcoming him again.

The kids had found Tae and had come to say goodbye to him. Kagura was still as energetic as ever and was chatting with 'Anego'.

"Are you alright, Gin-san?" Tae asked afet seeing his troubled look.

He smiled.

"Couldn't have been better."

* * *

When he arrived at the Yorozuya, no longer accompanied by his noisy subordinates, he wasn't too surprised to find his former 'assaulter' waiting for him inside. He dropped his boots at the entrance, ignoring the other pair, and stepped inside.

The young man got up from the couch, walked over and pulled Gintoki down in the same manner as he had done previously. Gintoki responded fiercely, trying to keep himself from moaning at the intense contact. He felt Okita's hands wander his shirt before starting to unbutton it and then he already started to unbuckle his belt.

"Bedroom's this way, right?" Okita asked between kisses, leading them in the direction of the main bedroom. Gintoki's shirt had already been discarded, the belt had already hit the floor and the Shinsengumi captain lost his coat along the way.

"Correct, although I doubt I want to know how you found that one out." He broke the string of kisses to open the door. Okita rolled his eyes, they'd have plenty of time, but he doubted it would be enough to tell the whole story.

"Well…"

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**I know it's been ages since I updated! I've had it extremely busy and as said before, I am writing a longer HijiGin fic. I was going to finish my other one-shot first, but this I couldn't get off my mind. It's rather short in comparison to my other fics but I might change this into a collection of one-shots, since I'm really hooked on GinOki right now. Why are there so little fanfics about these two, they're hilarious! Well, this was not really humour-ish but yeah, I needed to get it out.**

**I hope you enjoyed and please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sequel to first one, sorta. **

**Enjoy! ^^ **

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**There is no such thing as sadism towards strawberry milk**

His eyes fluttered open and he squinted at the light.

Last night.

Fireworks.

Sadists…

He paused his train of thought and went back to the last.

Sadists…

He checked; no bondage.

Sigh of relief.

The morning after, always strange. The Shinsengumi captain wasn't sleeping beside him anymore, but he doubted he had run off. Last night was still bit off a haze, but he remembered parts of it. They had talked, kissed, _done other things_ and for all he knew they had both fallen asleep. Their clothes were tossed around, the uniform's coat was still there but the rest had been picked up apparently. He clothed himself before he opened his door and pocked his head inside his office, red eyes going from right to left to spot the young captain.

He heard some noise coming from the kitchen, which wasn't a real kitchen but he called it that anyway, and headed for the room. He slid the door open and saw the man he was looking for earlier concentrating on something which could only be described as a glass. His entry hadn't go unnoticed by the brown haired man but he continued his 'experiment' anyway. Gintoki doubted it would lead to something good but mumbled a 'good morning' despite his own curiosity. It seemed the other hadn't even hear him as he concentrated on…

"Strawberry milk?" Gintoki had crept up behind him and asked him in almost a whisper, his breath tickled against the other man's skin, but even then Okita didn't lose his concentration on the strawberry milk. Gintoki quirked up an eyebrow and backed off again, letting the man concentrate on the sole glass of strawberry goodness. Mornings after where always strange, but this had to be the weirdest reaction to a _sleepover_ ever. Had he gone mad? Maybe he had bee a little too rough last night, yes that last one had probably been over the top but still…

Gintoki brought his right index finger to his chin and walked out of the kitchen, leaving the man to concentrate on the glass again. Maybe he was trying to move it with sheer willpower, like those guys could do in Jump, or maybe it was out of pure desire for the strawberry milk that he liked to stare at it every now and then.

Gintoki stopped.

Last time he had checked there wasn't much more than a single glass left…

Should he go save his strawberry milk?

Probably.

Sadism towards strawberry milk had yet to be invented but he'd bet money on it, if he'd have any, that it would probably be Okita who would invent something like that.

He slid the door open with force, just in time to see Okita drink up the whole glass of milk, looking disgusted at the overly-sweet taste. His expression changed from panicked to horrified and he pointed at the young man, standing there big eyed and innocently staring at the 'intruder'.

"Why did you do that if you don't even like it!"

Okita looked at the glass in his hands and set it back down. Gintoki was still mumbling on about it, at loss for any words, but he ignored it and walked over.

"Wha…"

The young man took him by surprise again but he welcomed the sweet tasting lips with pleasure. He tasted of strawberry milk and he felt the others hands play with his hair, in response he did the same. Finally they had to break their contact to breath some fresh air.

"If you wanted that, you could've just asked you know." Gintoki was slightly out of breath but he managed to blur out the words just fine.

Okita just shrugged. "More fun this way."

"But that was the last of it!"

The young man brought his index finger to his chin and looked in thought. "Guess I won't be doing that in a while."

Gintoki looked even more horrified than when he had lost the strawberry milk.

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**Okay, this is Okita where talking about, his Danna or not, he still remains a sadist. Taking away the strawberry milk and the kisses is as sadistic as it gets**** (towards Gin that is), oh well, we still love him, and so does our little heartbroken Gin-chan xD**

**I hope you enjoyed and please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**It's been a while since I updated this... Sorry to all those who are reading and ready to kill me for not updating frequently enough, I have an excuse! I have written some HijiGin along the way, I was going to write some GinTae but then I left the document on my other computer, and now when I have to study for exams, I _update_. The mysteries of life... I had already written something about this, but this idea struck me and has an actual plot...**

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**When saying something suggestive that really isn't meant to be suggestive, you should explain a bit.**

Gintoki slowly ate the sugary dumpling, savoring its taste as long as possible. He had just found this new dango shop – he hadn't seen it before, and the owner didn't know of his bad habit to not pay his bills, so the place must've been new – and had immediately sat down once he could smell the sent of tea coming from the small shop. Now he was enjoying a nice cup of tea, a few dango and an afternoon sunshine, even if it was already autumn. Now to only convince the owner to open a bill for him, and 'promise' to pay later on. There was no need to feel quilty; he was a poor wandering – or not so much wandering – samurai protecting the peace in Edo damn it, they least they could do was offer him a few dango and the occasional cup of tea. He took another sip of his tea and closed his eyes. Leaning back against the wall of the shop, he crossed his legs in his usual fashion and enjoyed the rare peace.

"Oi, shop owner! Don't let this guy out of your sight; he'll take a run for it as soon as you look away!"

So much for peace.

Gintoki felt caught, sort of, and looked up accusingly at the face of Edo's sadist/Oogushi-kun's assassin who went by many names, feared by all except by him and Kagura.

He felt a vein throb on his forehead in slight annoyance – there went his free meal – but he kept his voice steady as the young man sat down next to him with a smile.

"I haven't seen you in a while, Danna."

"Didn't I already say you were kicked out of my house after murdering my precious strawberry milk?"

"This isn't your house, Danna, it's a rundown dango shop…"

"Same thing really…" Gintoki said, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back again. He looked at the young man after a few second of silence, "Shouldn't you be slacking off somewhere?"

"That hurt, Danna, I'll let you know that I take my job of killing Hijikata-san very seriously."

"I was talking about the other job."

"Oh… Yamazaki is already checking things, I'm sure he'll manage."

"Is that your way of putting your conscience at ease? For all you know, some flash guy might've just robbed a poor old geezer."

"But Danna, didn't I just save an old man from robbery? You're quite flashy yourself." And he looked back to see the owner of the dango shop coming outside to offer his new customer some tea, or maybe even to check whether Gintoki hadn't taken a run for it yet.

"…Point taken."

The owner seemed slightly puzzled at how Okita addressed Gintoki but paid it no further heed, and he saw the man was dressed in a Shinsengumi uniform so he wouldn't let a man walk away without paying. Gintoki had noticed the man's confusion, and quickly connected the dots.

"Why exactly do you call me 'Danna'?"

"Cause you're the Yorozuya's Danna obviously." Okita answered, while chewing a dango loudly, earning a lecture.

"Did your mother never learn you to eat with your mouth closed, Souji-kun?"

"I've never known my mother, Danna, my sister always took care of me. And it's Sougo, you're mixing up the names, Danna..."

"Hn, that so?" He felt a bit bad about bringing the subject up of his sister, but it seemed the younger man had already moved past it, or he just didn't show it. The guessed it was the second, which wasn't really the best of the two.

"Still, when you only say 'Danna' it sounds rather suggestive." Gintoki said, yawning and stretching a bit, "Really, kids these days…"

"I guess you're right," Okita said, taking a sip of his tea, "Should I try calling you by your name then?"

Gintoki shrugged, "Why not?"

"G…" Okita hesitated a bit.

'_Is he embarrassed?'_ Gintoki smirked a bit.

"Gin…" But instead of embarrassment, Okita had a look of intense concentration on his face.

Gintoki's face fell.

"You have no idea what my full name is, don't you?"

Okita smiled and took another sip of tea, "No."

Gintoki groaned.

"Are you the kind of person to skip the introduction pages at the beginning of a volume? Being all high and mighty, thinking that you already know every character! If you skip a volume or two, there are always bound to be some new characters, you idiot!"

Okita didn't respond, merely grabbed his last dumpling and, unlike Gintoki earlier, ate it up rather swiftly.

"Back on the topic of the story, it's only suggestive if you want it to be, Danna."

Suddenly, that 'Danna' sounded slightly different to him.

"You're on duty, your badminton friend will come looking for you…"

"Ah, did I say Yamazaki was patrolling instead of me? I actually took the car so he's probably still running towards here, the barracks aren't that far but if you have to walk…"

"I don't want to know what'll become of Edo if people like you are supposed to protect it." Gintoki added deadpan.

Okita got up from his spot, strapped his katana back on his waist and readied himself to walk off again.

"Oi," Gintoki said, getting up as well, "Would you mind paying for me as well? Consider it retribution for killing Strawberry Milk."

"Actually," Okita turned to him with a serious look on his face, "I don't have any money on me. I was kind of counting on you, Danna."

Gintoki's face fell again.

"How he hell can you count on me?! I'm always broke!"

The owner seemed to have been alarmed by the sudden increased volume and came out, only to see two figures run away at full speed.

"You're a police officer, and you just committed a crime! I'll report you damnit!" Gintoki said, just avoiding someone out for a walk.

"Danna, I'm one of the captains of the Shinsengumi, I'm allowed to do that." Okita retorted, not even dodging people but just going in one straight line. They rounded a corner and stopped in an alleyway.

"So, ten o' clock?" Okita said, not even out of breath because of the running.

"Che, you're still not allowed inside."

He didn't respond to that and just peered around the corner, looking for an angry owner that was pursuing them, but he spotted something completely different.

"Ah, it seems I'll have to leave you for now, Danna." Okita said, looking around the corner, "Badminton player spotted, and he seems rather tired." He turned to look at the older man and walked up to him

"So," Okita said, "I'll see you tonight."

A vein on Gintoki's forehead throbbed, "I already told you that-"

But he was cut of by a very persuasive argument in the form of a lip-lock. He had to admit the kid was bold when he wanted to, even for his young age. He responded, and was slightly amused as his lips still tasted like the dango he had had earlier, a pleasant added bonus. He let his back fall against the wall so he could deepen the kiss, and he felt the younger man's arms snake around his waist. He forgot all his surroundings, and was going to take of the man's jacket when he broke the kiss.

Okita had an amused look on his face – or at least something like that – and stepped away.

"See you tonight, Danna." He straightened his uniform a bit, "Or am I still banned from your house?"

Gintoki resisted the urge to lick his lips and leaned back on the wall, closing his eyes.

"Bring a carton of strawberry milk, and I shall consider it."

When he opened his eyes, he could just see Okita walk out of the alley back to the busy street with a wave, but he still hadn't gotten an answer. He shrugged.

_'He'll come.'_ And he started walking in the opposite direction.

* * *

"Ah! Okita-taichou!" Yamazaki called out his name, to make sure his captain would see him and walked up to him. "Ah, I've been looking everywhere for you, Sir!"

"Go get me a carton of strawberry milk."

Yamazaki sweat-dropped.

"Are?"

"The cigarettes are taking too long, I have decided to start killing Hijikata by giving him diabetes." Okita answered, a look of pure thought on his face; that plan wasn't even half as bad…

* * *

"Where's the strawberry milk?" Gintoki asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"I send Yamazaki to get some, but he hasn't come back yet. I think some Jouishishi caught him." Okita said, completely unfazed by the badminton player's disappearance.

"Still not getting in." He crossed his arms over his chest, the kid wasn't gonna pull another stunt like that, this time he would be the one celebrating victory.

"I have the whole day off tomorrow." Okita added as an afterthough.

"…"

"…"

"Get in." And Gintoki immediately pulled the younger man inside.

* * *

**I tried to keep the characters a bit IC and the dialogues as canon as possible, but that's really hard when there's a pairing. And yes, I have a secret love for Yamazaki... The idea came from Snow Cover, who suggested writing a story about the meaning of Danna, which is how geisha call their 'patrons' of some sort... I don't know all the details, but Wiki does...**

**PS: Gintoki would sooo see his strawberry milk as an actual person...**

**PPS: I like using convenient alleyways for kissing scenes...**


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